Les Kellett v Leon Arras
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By 1974, Leon Arras had become a well-known star of television, the movies and especially advertising voiceovers. He had become a distinctly part-time wrestler and this was one of his final televised bouts of only ten or so through the seventies. He would generally be disqualified, as against Masambula and Les Kellett in his earlier appearances and as against Catweazle, in his later and final bout.
There is plenty of footage of Les Kellett available, but in the other bouts at our taped disposal we see a Kellett whose timing is awry and who is opposing a villain who is there just to stooge for his clowning antics. A sloppy and loose head-butt to Johnny South’s stomach led to a most improbable knockout. The generous Tug Holton and Mel Stuart tried similarly to sell the ageing star’s offensives, but the combat was undeniably tame.
Here we had a masterpiece of a novelty bout, a rare jewel in an otherwise rusting crown.
Leon Arras didn’t need to be villainous as he was so self-deprecating in making a fool of himself by what he said, and in his exaggerated but believable failures to get to grips with Kellett as the veteran bill-topper rebounded sideways off ropes and executed all his usual trickery. Arrogant cartwheeling set the tone.
The commentator did an excellent job in assuring us that the 12lbs Kellett was giving away would make no difference as he was one of the hardest men in the business. It is very strange indeed to think that, as we listened to that in 1974, we considered it baloney to justify yet another unlikely catchweight bout; but that 36 years later we have enough evidence to realise that, on this occasion, Kent Walton was dead on.
In fact, the weight difference seemed more.
Third Man Max Ward was also in great form, seeking to out-shout Barnsley’s Arras during the preliminaries, and later reacting magnificently to Kellett’s spittle as it flew straight into his eye whist Arras’s head was trapped on the bottom rope.
In between, all three combined in plenty of slapstick. To hoots of delight from the Kent audience, when Arras was in full cocky flow during a leg-lock, Kellett pushed his chattering mouth closed, and Arras released in a jiffy, his tongue painfully caught between his teeth. With an unsurprising lack of sympathy from the ringsiders, Arras turned to the referee for some support. Ward examined the tongue and Kellett promptly moved in to repeat the dose,and Arras toured the ring again complaining to those few who would listen.
This bout also included the genuinely funny though admittedly far-stretched scenes with Kellett astride his opponent and cavalry-kicking his back side. Arras obligingly trots along the canvas. And later, Arras conveniently gets himself angled across the top ropes only for Kellett, back to canvas beneath him, to bounce him up and down.
In terms of action – there wasn’t a great deal! Mostly locks and laughter. But, in retaliation to being accused of cowardice by Arras, Kellett did aggressively apply his special Figure-4 Leglock with Bar, and that looked very real.
With the benefit of hindsight and the slow motion button, Wrestling Heritage can now identify, perhaps for the first time in detail, a nicely prepared feature from Leon Arras.
Arras had entered the ring with an arm bandage, not an unusual sight. Late on in the bout the commentator remarked that he was grinding this into Kellett’s face illegally. Between the later rounds, the referee inspected and made quite a fuss of this armband. Once Ward’s back was turned, we clearly saw Arras roll down the armband and turn it inside out, to leave a coarser surface visible.
He flagrantly drank from his bottle with the reversed armband in full camera-shot. Ward and Arras had clearly prepared this little vignette, though the commentator failed to pick up on all the subtleties that the cameraman was well aware of. Kellett subsequently gained possession of the armband and put it on and of course administered satisfying retribution to Arras.
We have seen instances of just desserts like this on many occasions, but the weapon has usually been a chair, or a bag or a key – at least something that could hurt. The only flaw here was the lack of clear logic as to why one particular side of a bandage should have been more dangerous than the other – when neither would be abrasive or painful at all … It just goes to show the importance of the routine over the believability of the props.
Other parts worked very well, and Kellett’s swings and head-butts off the ropes worked much more believably than in those other bouts mentioned above. The well-versed back hammer plus leg hook, left, brought whelps of excited delight from the spectators.
Even his dangerous headlong slide out of the ring below the bottom rope flowed gracefully. this time. He twisted 180° on exit and hooked his legs up to remain suspended at 45°, to the ringsiders’ great consternation – and they hurriedly bundled him back in. This headlong slide had frequently gone wrong down the years.
To sum up, Arras had a big enough name to be able to try to sell Kellett’s antics to the very fullest. In so doing, his own arrogant and over-chatty bubble was burst on numerous occasions, whether calling Kellett weak during a double finger interlock, and immediately succumbing, an interaction immediately followed by the brief Come Dancing routine,or whether being the victim of Kellett’s favoured semi-Jap stranglehold and kick, as described in Speciality Manoeuvres. Arras took this interchange to the next level by executing the same move on Kellett, only that instead of connecting with his kick, his leg went swinging around over Kellett who had ducked out of danger. Arras finished up on his bottom once again!
No disqualification verdict was necessary and the result, if it matters, was a two falls to one victory for the Clown Prince from Bradford. And the experienced pro Arras enjoyed a few moments of exclusive limelight, right, bemoaning his allegedly injured elbow, as Kellett exited the ring,
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